Are 40s the Best Decade Yet? Birthday Reflections from a 39-Year-Old

I’ve been looking forward to my fortieth birthday since I was in my twenties. And according to my husband, I’ve been talking about it for years.

That’s not because I haven’t loved and learned from every stage of my life. I enjoyed being in my childhood years, teens (mostly), twenties, and thirties. But as I approach forty—on October 1, 2025—I’m looking forward to entering my next decade. And I’m excited to see what my forties hold for me.

Women in their forties just act differently

This forty-focus anchored firmly when I was in my early thirties, surrounded by incredible women all nearing or entering their forties. I’ve always had older friends, many five, ten, even twenty-plus years older than I. And because I was still early in my career, many of them were so much more successful, confident, and better dressed.

They looked at me differently than my younger friends did, right in the eyes, and would talk about their work with pride and ownership. They went for big dreams, like running organizations or ultramarathons; made major life changes, even when they were hard or scary; and cared deeply about their families and communities.

Women in their forties seemed grounded. Confident. Successful, but with a sense of ease about it. No longer needing or trying to prove themselves but leaning into the good work they’d done in past decades to show up fully as themselves. They also had more money than I, which meant more stability and the ability to have incredible experiences that only money could buy. Yes, please.

I thought, ‘I want to be like that.’ And I chalked some of it up to the all-important 4-0.

14 intentions for my forties

As I approach my fortieth birthday, I’ve been reflecting on what I hope this next decade of my life will bring. And I’m carrying intentions into this life stage. This is all personal, not professional, and intentionally so.

1. Maintain harmony in my family life, so my kids, husband, and I feel peaceful, safe, and loved at home.
2. Love my husband and keep the fire alive in our marriage. We’re fourteen years strong, seventeen years together, and still love each other deeply. I never want that to change.
3. Create and strengthen family rituals that facilitate regular connection time with my kids. They are growing up and won’t live with us much longer. Routines and rituals that facilitate connection get more important every day.
4. Continue to explore, experience, and learn new things. Mark my words, I will take flying lessons in this decade. I have been talking about it long enough.
5. Anchor more deeply into my writing goals. I’ve spent most of my life facilitating others’ creativity, and while that is meaningful work I still want to do, I have my own author goals that I will make a reality in my forties.
6. Travel widely, including to Antarctica, Japan, Italy, India, and basically anywhere I can manage.
7. Pour into my people, including my closest friends, many of whom I’ve been friends with since I was just a kid, some of whom I met as an adult. I’m lucky to have them in my life, and I never want to take that for granted.
8. Call my mom, dad, and sister more. Schedule “tea dates” online with my niece and nephew, whom I don’t get to see enough. Have longer conversations with my brother-in-law, who is the coolest, kindest husband to my sister and dad to my niece and nephew.
9. Reignite the artist within. I haven’t drawn, painted, sculpted, or created any physical art in too long. I want to touch back into that side of myself.
10. Contribute in a more meaningful way to humanitarian efforts. I have spent much of my professional life invested in social equity work; I’d like to find more ways to support human rights and end human suffering.
11. Age with self-love. See every line on my face as wisdom. Examine every change in my body and skin and hair with curiosity and gratitude.
12. Be present. Be in the room where I am, with the people I’m with. See others and be seen.
13. Live in this decade with the same excitement I bring entering it. I always want to live on fire, fully, feeling like I’ve done this life thing to the best of my ability. If I can go into my fifties feeling like I’ve accomplished this in my forties, it will be a decade well spent.
14. Stay anchored to my values. Never let them slip. Always do the right thing, even when it’s the hard thing.

I know there are more things to add to this list, but these are the main things that come to mind today, still in my thirties, looking ahead at what I believe will be a brilliant decade of abundance, love, and success. To forty!

What intentions do you hold for yourself in the decade you’re in? Share with me in the comments. I love hearing from you, and I personally read and reply to every comment.

P.S. This is a genuinely human article. No AI was used to write this piece.