In a world obsessed with speed, automation, and digital connection, what truly sets people apart? According to Fred Steck, it’s something timeless: genuine human connection.
Fred Steck, former Goldman Sachs leader and author of Connectability: Mastering Relationship Building in Business, Sales, and Beyond, shares his insights on how empathy, curiosity, and consistent follow-up create lasting impact in business, sales, and philanthropy.
In this conversation, Fred and I dive into the art and impact of authentic connection—how empathy and genuine interest can create trust and opportunity and even be a career and business multiplier. Learn how to break through the noise and reach decision makers with handwritten notes, personal follow-ups, and real curiosity to strengthen relationships, open economic opportunities, and help you stand out in a digital-first world.
This episode will inspire you to rethink how you build and nurture relationships—online and offline. You’ll walk away with practical ways to strengthen trust, improve follow-up, and lead with empathy in your work and life.
Listen in to learn how to make connection your most powerful business advantage—and discover simple, timeless ways to stand out in a digital world.
Learn more about Fred:
- Website
- Instagram @fredsteckofficial
Book recommendations:
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- Instagram @stacyennis
- Facebook @stacyenniscreative
- YouTube @stacyennisauthor
To submit a question, email hello@stacyennis.com or visit stacyennis.com/contact and fill out the form on the page.
How to stay connected in a digital world | Episode 223 Transcript
Fredric: What I began to notice tremendously is that what affected my life was really who I connected with, that was really what drove the bus, if you would, is the people I would run into. I was willing to be, quote, empathetic and interested in what they were doing. And I think that interest actually helped me because they became interested in me. Sort of my favorite expression, you know, is that I want to be interesting, but I also want to be interested.
Stacy: Welcome. Welcome. This week we get to talk about humor, human relationships, which is not something we have really spent a lot of time talking about on this podcast, which is kind of interesting. Actually, as I was reflecting on the topic of today, it’s interesting that I haven’t had a guest on to talk about this because a lot of my spare time is actually studying human behavior. I find it a very interesting topic. I listen to a lot of podcasts about it, about relationships and so I’m really excited to get to have a conversation about human connection today with our guest.
Stacy: So let me tell you about our guest today. Fred Steck is a seasoned business leader, speaker and author whose career spans four decades across finance, philanthropy and environmental entrepreneurship. A pre IPO partner at Goldman Sachs, Fred is best known for leading the landmark $500 million Bishop Estate investment. He has served on the board of the UCSB foundation and is currently on the board of the NPR foundation and Arivo Solutions as well as the advisory committee of the center for Aging and Longevity Studies at UC Santa Barbara. Fred regularly speaks on emotional intelligence and relationship building at high ranking institutions. Fred, welcome.
Fredric: Thank you. I’m happy to be here.
Stacy: I’m so excited to have this conversation. I’ve been looking forward to it. We could Say maybe for years now. I wanted to start with a little bit of your background. You’ve had a really wide ranging career. You’ve been in finance, you’ve been in philanthropy, environmental entrepreneurship. And I would love to hear a little bit more about that background and how all of these wide experiences that you have had have shaped your perspective on human connection.
Fredric: Well, that might take a while, but as I think about this, I would say that sort of a key point in sort of conducting my life, if you would. I am not a great planner. So I didn’t wake up in the morning and think that I should be investment banking or that I should be involved in the horse world very much. My life has been conducted in a way that either takes advantage or develops an interest in what is presented to me. In all fairness, I wasn’t a fabulous student. My two sisters were brilliant, my father, certifiable genius kind of thing. My schooling was really. I had a great interest in history and it was really what I liked about history was the idea of how events move the world in a certain direction rather than, I know this sounds silly.
Fredric: Rather than the world having a plan. I don’t think the world had a plan. I think the world is moved by events. And I think very much that’s very much how it developed for me. But one of the things that I did find, which I actually see in my children, especially my sons, not to be gender wise, but they just seems to have connected with them in a big way, is the idea of connecting with others. And actually, I correct myself, my youngest daughter is very much involved in theater and that is all about connecting. And so what I began to notice tremendously is that what affected my life was really who I connected with. That was really what drove the bus, if you would, is the people I would run into.
Fredric: I was willing to be, quote, empathetic and interested in what they were doing. And I think that interest actually helped me because they became interested in me. Sort of my favorite expression, you know, is that I want to be interesting, but I also want to be interested. Understood. And so the other part that really shaped why I would think that writing a book was a good idea, or writing at all for that matter, was my father was really quite a good writer. He was an attorney and wrote great letters. And I was a freshman at UC Santa Barbara and I went on academic probation my very first quarter right away. My youngest daughter is a straight A student and her father’s on academic probation. So go figure.
Fredric: At any rate, my father wrote me a letter and essentially the letter was one about encouraging me to really take advantage of this, but also, you know, sort of carrot and stick, but also telling me that if I didn’t, that, you know, his financial support would be flagging. If you would. Anyway, I can’t find this letter, can’t find it. I’ve looked everywhere, I’ve moved many times, have lots of files. And it really bothered me that my father, who I had great respect for and I have in a sense his legacy for me is very much what’s in my head. So part about writing was I have a large family, I have five kids, I have nine grandchildren, is I wanted to also have something of me that, you know, they could have at some point.
Fredric: So I mean, I would say that was sort of the impetus of, you know, of writing kind of as one gets older they think about legacy but also just the importance of connection.
Stacy: Yeah, it’s such a. When you talk about human connection, I think we’re in this really interesting time in the world where that’s so lacking in so many ways and there’s so many devices between us and other people. Something that I found that’s interesting that I’ve observed in my daughter’s school. Last year they were allowed to have their phones at school. This year they’ve taken the phones away, which I’m in huge favor of. But what they didn’t do at the school is they didn’t provide them any sort of social education on how to actually interact with each other. These kids have had their phones in front of them for years and not actually talking. They connect through showing TikTok videos. They don’t connect through playing a game or chatting. That’s just, it’s like a social skill that they haven’t learned.
Stacy: And I know that this book that you’ve written, Connectability, it’s not anti tech book. It is pro human connection. So maybe you could share a little bit for our listeners, our viewers to help them understand what they will get out of this process book that will help them thrive in work and in life when it comes to human connection.
Fredric: So I think it is important to know that this isn’t anti digital book. This is not a book suggesting that we go back, if you would. An interesting fact. In 2004, Google came public. They came at $86 a share. I think you’d love to have that.
Stacy: Yes, I sure would love to go back in time.
Fredric: When it came public, most analysts thought it was overpriced. They thought that as the world moves on, people thought Google would never be replaced. Google as a search engine has absolutely dominated the other day. I’m listening. There’s a company that came about that they are essentially promoting an AI based search engine that has certain aspects to it that are, quote, better than Google. So the reality is that digital will continue to evolve and it will evolve in different ways and AI is going to get replaced by, you know, by something else down the road. This is a book about things that are, is about human centered relations. The one thing that we haven’t taken away yet is our humanness. This is human centered. And this book is really about things that every one of us possess.
Fredric: And I am just suggesting that it is important that you get in touch with that and with that you have really amplified your ability to develop relationships that could be economically positive for you, could be socially positive for you. Silly example. Maybe not so silly. My grandmother wrote me a note when I graduated, when I got married, when I had an event, I’d get a little card from her. I think I still have those cards. So if someone were to send you a birthday present or whatever that might be, the idea of going to the store, buying a little card, writing a three sentence, putting it in the mail, all of that tells the receiver you’re thinking about them, you care about them, you’re following up by remembering their birthday. So this is a book about sort of simple things that we do.
Fredric: I’m just suggesting that you might want to amplify that. And by doing that it’s going to increase the closeness of the relationships that you’re building. And that positive benefit could be economic if you’re a salesperson or it could be just social if you’re dating or if you’re trying to develop a relationship with a friend, you don’t want to forget that you own aspects of your humanness that can really be of great value.
Stacy: I think sometimes we get so in this kind of digital box with how we relate to each other. You know, I think, okay, let’s say I am trying to get some selected for a speaker at an event. Okay, I’m just going to use that example. And I haven’t heard back from them and I’ve sent now several emails, but in a polite way. I feel like it’s been professionally appropriate and I’m not hearing back. It’s, it’s natural in kind of how we’ve been like raised, quote unquote that I go to. Well, they’re not interested because they haven’t replied to my email. I guess I drop it. In your book though, you offer more like in the actual 3D world, ideas of how to connect with people. And I’d love for you to maybe offer one or two tips for somebody who’s listening today.
Stacy: That’s like they have grown up in digital. They haven’t really thought outside of the box of other ways to connect in a more personal, more human way with the people around them.
Fredric: Yeah, we all do the same thing. I think you might want to think about the. You’re sending your resume, you’re sending your application to college, whatever that might be. Your email, your application is coming to the person that’s making that decision and yours looks just like mine. There is literally nothing that would distinguish my email coming to the decision maker. The decision maker is receiving all these emails and if they all look the same, how do they make that decision? It’s a little bit of investigative reporting, if you would. I want to find out how I could actually get in touch with that person. So let’s say I’m applying to college.
Fredric: My suggestion is that if I’m applying to University of California, I’ll bet there is somebody that I know that also went to that school and I might want to call them and find out if they know anybody at the school. So it’s a little bit of pick and shovel work. This isn’t necessarily easy, but you want to find, be an investigative reporter, if you would and find out how it is that you could actually pick up the phone and call the decision maker. If you can’t get to the decision maker, you’re probably going to get to somebody a lot closer to that person than your email is. So it’s really a point of how can I get in front of that person? I like the idea of quote, informational interviews. Dear Company X, I’m really interested in oil exploration.
Fredric: Could I come and meet with you and just learn about your business or is there somebody within your business that I could meet with? All of these kind of iterative processes allows you to get closer to who it is that you really want to get to. It’s going to be hard. Maybe immediately depends on how large the company is. I think actually Emily is a really good example. Youngest daughter. She’s done a movie. She is now applying to various film festivals. Now the film festival that she would like to get into is the Tribeca Film Festival. Right? Well, you know, there’s no one, 800 Tribeca. So the idea is that she is sort of Rooting around, trying to find people that have either been on it, maybe, you know, maybe they know somebody.
Fredric: It’s kind of wanting to find out how I can make that extra effort. So that would be. And again, that’s going to be very much dynamic and very much to the point of the actual situation, but it’s really forcing you to be a little more creative, maybe a little more that might make you more distinctive to those other hundred emails that happen to come in. I mean, again, I know that your listeners will probably say, well, we’re not doing that. My very first job, I asked that same question in another way. I asked Malcolm, I said, what if I can’t get an appointment? Like, he wanted me to go out and call on companies. What if I can’t get an appointment? And he said, go to the company, take your business card and drop it by with a note.
Fredric: Came by, couldn’t get ahold of you. See what happens. You know, that’s. It’s. I think the best advice is I’ve sent you my email. How is it that I can go that next step? And that may come in many different ways and. But it’s really going to tap into your creative self. And if I am the employer and you’re being creative to try to get a hold of me, I think that’s the one person I want to talk to.
Stacy: I know there are people listening that are like, pick up the phone. What? You know, there’s. But these are, I think, actually such important things for us to remember. We are not limited by our inbox. We’re not limited by text message. Like, we actually can go outside of the box. You can be creative. Fred, I’ve shared this story with you before, but I know somebody who was trying to land a specific client and just to get an appointment with this person, she sent her a pie. You know, like, there’s all these things that you can do that are creative and outside of the box that really are about connection and showing people that they are that. That you see them and that you value them. Another thing that really stands out to me from your book is around following up.
Stacy: For me, this is one of my favorite takeaways from your work in general. And I’d love for you to talk a little bit about some of the principles of follow up, because I think people think they’re following up on stuff, but I think when they hear what you say about it, they’re going to realize that they’re like 25% following up.
Fredric: Right, right. You know, this Actually was a frustrating chapter to write in many ways, because what I want to do is give you the formula on following up, and there really is no formula. It’s like brushing your teeth. I’m not sure I like brushing my teeth all that much. Doesn’t really seem like that’s really accomplishing much, but we do it, and we do it every day. And the benefit of it is that our teeth stay in our mouth. But I know that sounds silly, but the idea of following up is meaning that you just have to do it and it has to be habitual. So I do write about a story where I was trying to buy a car. I was trying to buy a car. I walk into the dealership. I look like a buyer. I am actually asking to buy the car.
Fredric: And the salesperson gave me the website of the. Of the. Of the brand, you know, because I had all these questions. Right. Anyways, okay, fine. So I left another dealership, the salesperson who. Who, by the way, I will say was a woman. And I find women to be far better at this than men are. You know, don’t mean to, you know, call out the guys, but I’ll tell you, women in general are more empathetic. They’re better about following up. And I. I don’t know whether that’s how that is developed, but it really is. So anyway, I go in. Woman, a woman salesperson, same thing. She gave me her website. You’ll find a lot, but what are you looking for? What are you looking for? Then she actually followed up by. I had some questions that.
Fredric: They’re inconsequential, but it was the idea that she was responding, she listened, and then she responded. And so the idea of following up has a lot to do with asking questions. You know, questions are. I’m not learning a lot while I’m talking, but Stacy is asking me questions that is making me think. She’s also thinking about what I’m going to ask next. So the idea of questioning and then following up, not letting the question die, if you would. So it’s just so important. And I wish that I had the magic formula for you, other than the fact to actually do what you say you will do. If you’re going to call me for lunch, then call me. Don’t wait a month, don’t wait a week. Because the longer you wait, the more difficult it is for you to make that call.
Fredric: If we are in an argument and we need to settle that argument, the longer I ignore it, the more difficult it will be to actually Solve that problem.
Stacy: I just. I had this, like, flashback just now when you’re talking about that. When I was a kid, I was just starting to babysit. I started babysitting when I was ten and a half. And one of my first, like, gigs that I was going to get was this family. I think they had, like, five kids. It was a big family, and my parents were out of town, and I was supposed to go to their house to babysit, and I forgot, you know, normal, I think, when you’re that age. And I never went and apologized or, like, acknowledged it. And so for the rest of my life in that neighborhood, which was, I think, let’s see, eight more years, I just walked by their house feeling ashamed of not showing up. And I think that’s an example of, like, it’s not.
Stacy: Maybe it’s both when you say you’re going to do something, but also if you miss something or you acknowledge something, that taking care of it very quickly and immediately and communicating and then also following through. I think those are all such important things. If you just communicate and follow through on that communication, that builds good relationships, even when you mess up.
Fredric: I think a real way to look at this is. Personally, I do write about this. I had a really good friend whose father passed away. My father has also passed away. I have. I don’t have his feeling, but I have mine. And I know how difficult that was. I never. I never called him. And. And it just. And as the days went by, it became more difficult to actually make that call. And because of that, he and I stopped. We didn’t. We didn’t communicate because I wasn’t reaching out. I wasn’t following up on something that was really, you know, monumental in his life. I finally picked up the phone and called him, and we. And we had breakfast. And I write about being vulnerable. And so vulnerable is not necessarily being weak. Vulnerable is admitting where you kind of messed up.
Fredric: And, you know, I remember talking to Christos and saying, I can’t apologize enough. And then we wound up talking about fathers and what that felt like. And the. And the fact that the biggest part about it was that now all of a sudden, you know, the mantle of the. Of, you know, being the, you know, being the patriarch for the family falls on you and that responsibility. And so it really developed into a much deepening of our relationship, but literally took months to get there, and it didn’t need to. I could have made the call five months before that. So one way to think about following up is you want to Think about how you want to be treated, you know, which, you know, we all think, you know, treat people as you want to be treated.
Fredric: But it’s a really solid way to think about it, is don’t make a promise you can’t keep when you make them keep it. And it will distinguish you if you’re being competitive as a salesperson. I’m telling your ability to follow up on time and immediately will distinguish you from your competition. If it’s personal and you do, you’re only going to endear yourself to the person that you’re trying to be close to. The positives are so good, and yet we don’t listen. I’m not perfect at this by any means, but it’s just something you have to think about.
Stacy: I like that you connected that to the professional side too, because to your point, it very much relates to both your personal life in the case of your friend. And I’m also thinking in my work when I’ve gone, I always kind of assumed as a business owner that everybody out there kind of operated with integrity, with follow up. And it became pretty clear pretty quickly that actually that’s very rare. And so when you meet somebody that is, you know, responsive, they follow up. They do what they say they’re gonna do. You, like, hold onto them for, you know, for dear life. And these are simple, but they really do differentiate you. Whether you’re, I know your background’s in sales or if you’re in philanthropy or if you’re a book coach or if you’re, you know, working in hospitality.
Stacy: Having this human quality really differentiates you. Like, it really makes you stand out here.
Fredric: Here’s. You mentioned philanthropy. This is one of my favorites. So I call you up and I’m, you know, supporting some, you know, terrific. Cause you get money and I send you a nice note, okay, fast forward a year later, I might not call you and you think, well, why wouldn’t you do that? You say, well, you know, Stacy gave last year. You know, I don’t really want to bother her, but as a salesman, I already made the sale. Like, I, you know, we’ve already done the sale. The easiest call a philanthropist has in raising money is the call to the person that gave last year. Stacy, so grateful that you gave last year. Really hoping that you’ll, you know, that you’ll re, you know, re up, you know, this year.
Fredric: And perhaps if you could, you know, maybe you might want to increase your donation so I’m not having to convince Stacy that of the, of the philanthropic effort, because I already made that sale last year. But it’s the remembering that you always want to follow up with the person that gave, you know, they gave money last year. That’s. That’s the easiest call you can make.
Stacy: That’s a great tip. Anybody that’s in philanthropy, you maybe just made their day. Fred, can we shift gears to talk about your book writing process? Because I know that we have a lot of aspiring authors or authors that are maybe working on next books that listen to this podcast. I would love to hear a little bit about your writing process and specifically any challenges you faced during the writing process and how you were able to move through them to get your draft done and now be a published author.
Fredric: Well, I will tell you how I started. So I had a transaction that wasn’t getting done, and my youngest daughter, who I mentioned, called me up and said, dad, why don’t you start writing again? You know, instead of focusing on the fact that you can’t accomplish this business deal. And I had written before. I had been. I had lived in Venice for a little. Venice, Italy for a little bit. A friend of mine had let me use his house and I wrote a little bit of a travel log, if you would. And. And my daughter Emily was publishing it. Anyway, I started writing this blog and I found that it was a. Enjoyable for me and it really forced me to be far more attentive to the world around me because I was kind. It was an observational blog, or it is one.
Fredric: And so if you’re writing an observational blog, you start being more observational. And so it. I really found great joy in that. And speaking of connection, I was having a dinner with a friend and. And she had brought another friend of hers. That friend had just written a book and introduced me to her publisher. The publisher said, well, you’re a little early for us, but I’m going to introduce you to somebody who will actually help you. So she introduces me to you. And Stacy has brought to my process all of what I don’t do well, and that is to be organizational. So I might be the greatest tennis player in the world. That doesn’t mean I can play Wimbledon. I need a lot of people that help me to get from my ability to actually being on the center stage. So there was that.
Fredric: That’s really important is to. Is to understand that writing is creative and that is probably the easier part of the process. But writing a book is like anything else, you know, there is a process and you need to Pay attention to that process. I am a pretty big fan of Michael Lewis. He wrote a book called Liars Poker. Liars Poker. I actually know people in that book. It’s all about Wall street and all about bonds.
Stacy: Oh, interesting.
Fredric: And it’s. Oh yeah, no, this is a great book. In fact, I worked for one of the principal characters in the book for, you know, for many years. Anyway, I listened to a Michael Lewis podcast and he was talking about the idea of writer’s block and his advice was, sit down and start typing it. Just writer’s block is only an excuse not to write. So the one thing I learned is that when you write, and speaking of digital, you know, this is one of the great things about the digital process of writing on a computer is that you can erase things. You can erase, you can go back, you can rewrite, you don’t have to get out another piece of paper. You know, that is a great advantage that the digital world has brought to us.
Fredric: They say it’s not anti digital book, but it is that the ideas of being able to rewrite so that it was, I would say my biggest challenges were really about the organizational aspects of it and sort of doing things on time. Following up on that, the actual writing was largely enjoyable. I think I was actually shocked at how many words actually make a book. You know, there is that, but it’s really more about the discipline of actually sitting down and doing it. So when I worked at Goldman, one could say that was an easier job, right. I knew where to go, I knew where to sit, I knew what to wear, I got lunch. You know, there was there was a, there was a regimen to it. If you’re a writer, you’re kind of on your own. So it’s really important.
Fredric: Find a space that you write in every day that is your workplace and make sure that you do something every day. I have a very good friend, Dan Gerber, who is a poet. He has a room in his home. He goes, he has, I think it’s 9 to 11. That is his. He’ll tell me, I’ll go in there and if I sit for an hour, but I’m not leaving the room. So he’s there and he’s writing. I, you know, sat next to the famous historian McCullough and I happen to sit next to him at dinner. And I asked David, I said, how do you write a, you know, how do you write a 400 page book? And he said, two pages a day, divide by two. So it’s.
Fredric: They that is the one thing I have read, heard and experience that once you stop the discipline of writing every day, that’s when you get delayed, that’s when things slow down and you become frustrated. I don’t, that’s, you know, it took me three years to write this book. Not because I couldn’t write, but because I self imploded by not writing.
Stacy: I think one observation I’ll layer in, Fred, if I might, is that you had a big task to take your experience and your life stories and the wisdom you’ve gained and then also to figure out who you wanted to reach with. You know, like there was so much to sort through also. And one of the things that I observed for you as a writer is that you like confronted that and you were willing to put in the thinking and the time and wade through that. And sometimes, you know, there are some books that are easier to write just frankly that, you know, maybe a how to book or something that’s subject matter or it’s a more straightforward.
Stacy: But sometimes when you’re crafting something that is pulling together a lifetime of learning and wisdom and shaping it into something that other people can use and that’s useful and that you feel is really resonant, that does take time and additional thinking and kind of processing as well.
Fredric: Yeah, I remember. Well, I mean you and I have had this discussion. I. So for your listeners, when Stacy and I were first working together, she asked me that very question, who are you writing this book for? And so I gave her, well, I’m writing, you know, for anybody who’s in sales or anybody. And she said no, no. She said, who is the one person you’re writing the book for? Who’s the one person you’re writing it for? And that really, you know, thinking about that and I realized that the one person I was writing this book for was a female in a male dominated business. Because I basically felt that they had all of the advantages but somehow felt that they didn’t because they, you know, the female tends to be far more empathetic.
Fredric: They definitely follow up and you know, they, and they definitely ask questions that you know, they’re not, you know, it’s the, I mean to me, you know, the problem is this is personal. So it’s like if you’re, if you are a guy on a date, you know that guy probably wants to tell you all the wonderful things he’s done. The big deals he’s done the what he owns this sort of Thing. But I tell you, if you take the time to actually ask the other person, you know, like, what do you do? I’ve never heard of that. Like, how does that, you know, if you’re inquisitive and curious and women are.
Fredric: So the one person was, if I could write and you know, that one person, to have them understand that they have actually all of the skill set and the power to develop relationships that will be meaningful and that will help their careers, then that would be mission, you know, that would be an accomplishment.
Stacy: I love that point of awareness and it’s such a great point too. It had me reflecting on recently. My, my family and I went to a very nice upscale restaurant. So we got all dressed up, were having this really lovely dinner and we ended up chatting with some Americans that were there. And it was interesting because afterward my. So my husband is, as you know, Fred, but some listeners might not know, is a stay at home dad. So he’s not often in like business context. That’s my world. And when we left, he was like, are all your conversations like that where people basically just find ways to tell you more about themselves? And I was like, sometimes, yeah, sometimes they are.
Stacy: But what a difference when, you know, when you leave a conversation with somebody and you feel like, wow, they actually listened to me. I feel like I actually had an exchange with somebody. They were curious. You can tell when people are clicked in and when they’re not.
Fredric: Listen. It’s such high value. I mean, it’s such high value. I mean, I was at dinner with a woman and I was asking her about her business and blah, blah. And she turned to me, she said, you know, you’re the only person that’s ever asked me about my business. And you go, really? It’s just again, you know, the book isn’t magical. It’s just really a reminder that you own all of these skills. And it takes absolutely no brilliance to ask the person across the table to ask questions, find out about them. Find out, you know, if you’re selling, find out what they’re looking for to find out what their problems are. You know, people like answering questions because it gives them an opportunity to talk about themselves, to talk about their business. It indicates a level of interest.
Fredric: It’s a really simple thing to do and doesn’t really take a lot of effort, honestly.
Stacy: Yeah, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. I’m going to ask you the last question in a moment, but before I do, I just have to, you’ve mentioned your daughter Emily a couple of times and I feel like we need to give her an official shout out because, you know, you brought up this idea of bringing people in to support you and kind of be part of this journey with you. And I think she is a great example also of somebody that you brought in that was, you know, she was cheering you on the whole time. And I think that’s such a powerful thing. It is one thing to work with professionals who can support you and who can guide you and care, but you did something really smart in that process.
Stacy: And I just want to highlight that for people that are listening and thinking about maybe doing something big in their own life, whether it’s write a book or start a business or whatever it is, you brought her into that. And she still is a really incredible force in kind of helping propel things forward.
Fredric: Yeah, I, as I mentioned earlier, I have five children and I take great pride in that, take great pride in being a father. Great pride in my children. They’re old, very accomplished. But this process has allowed me to get a lot closer because my, you know, my kids are accomplished. They’re a valuable asset, if you would. I was told not to write about my family because seemed too easy, maybe self promoting, whatever.
Stacy: Not told by me, just to clarify, just not by me.
Fredric: Not crazy, but, you know, that it was, you know, of course, you know, he’s going to say nice things about. But the. Emily is actually, she is a producer, writer, actress, making her way in a very difficult business in London. And she has been extraordinarily helpful to me in terms of organizing website, but also just in terms of consulting. And last night, as Stacy knows, we had a book signing here locally and I used my eldest son to be my interviewer. And so the book has really brought kind of all family members together. I write about my youngest son and his empathetic behavior, his ability to connect. And, you know, these are all real stories that have been very valuable. But, but the bonus to all of that is that we’re all involved.
Fredric: We’re all involved in, in this process which has found reason for us to get even closer. I mean, who wouldn’t want that bonus point?
Stacy: Yeah, I love that. That’s so neat. Okay, let me ask you the question that we ask all. We say we as if there are multiple people asking that. I ask guests when they come on the podcast and that is if you could recommend one book to listeners. So this is one that has profoundly impacted your life. What Would that be?
Fredric: Well, that’s actually an easy question for me. And he was kind enough to actually write an acknowledgement on this book. And that’s Danny Meyer. Danny Meyer wrote a book called Setting the Table. The book now I think is 20 years old. So Danny Meyer started a restaurant called the Union Square Cafe in New York City in an area that no one had restaurants. And he has literally built this incredible, you know, restaurant empire. I guess that might be a little, you know, a little overstated, but he is a dominant restaurateur in New York City. But his book, more importantly, this book is required reading for any of the hospitality schools. Cornell, Denver University, Michigan State, those are the top three. And it’s not about building a restaurant, it’s about relationships.
Fredric: It’s about building relationships within an industry that I also write a lot about that is a true example of the ability to establish meaningful personal relationship and building a tremendous business. So it’s just an easy read, a very interesting read, but it’s a great book for life lessons, honestly on this subject of building deep human centered personal relations.
Stacy: What a great recommendation. I have not read that, so I’ll have to add that on my to be read list.
Fredric: There’s, they’re telling him he has to write another one because the book literally is, I think the book is 20 years old.
Stacy: Oh, wow.
Fredric: I mean, I mean he started the restaurant back in, I’m not sure, it might have been 0405, something like that. So he’s written about the development of his restaurants. Well, now he has, you know, many more. He is, you know, he’s a speaker and so on and so forth. So anyway, I’m told they’re trying to get him to write another one.
Stacy: Interesting. We’ll have to keep an eye on that. Fred, thank you so much for joining me today. Your book is called Connectability Mastering Relationship Building in Business Sales and Beyond. Where can our listeners get your book and where can they follow you to get more of this great information from you?
Fredric: Well, you, hopefully you have an independent bookstore that you would like to give some business to and they should. The bookstore. I, I don’t really know the name of all the wholesalers but bookstores do and so it should be there. You can also find it on Amazon and it’s definitely, you know, definitely there’s, you can go to my website. Easy to find. fredricksteck.com don’t spell it with a K. Sorry, that’s my mother liked it spelled F, R E, D, R. I C and it’s connectability, Mastering relationship building and business sales and beyond. And you can find a lot about me and or you can I also write a blog that you can find again on that website, fredricksteck.com Fred, thank you so much.
Stacy: This was such a wonderful conversation. I know you added a ton of value for our listeners and viewers and I’m just really grateful to get to have this conversation with you today. Fredric:
Stacy, thank you. I’m honored to be part of the podcast. But also additionally for your listeners and viewers, I cannot thank you enough for your guidance in producing this book. It’s, you know, Stacy’s guidance and information and help and support was instrumental in getting this from, you know, my head to, you know, to you know, to your bookstore. So I thank you very much for that. Than a fun conversation for sure.
Stacy: Thanks Fred. That means a lot. I appreciate that. And thank you to you, our listeners, our viewers, for being with us today. I hope this was hugely valuable. It must be if you’re still listening or watching this right now. And I also want to say a thank you as always to Rita Domingues for her production of this podcast. I know I say this every week, but you truly would not be listening to this we or watching it without her. It would be sitting in my recordings file never to see the light of day. So I am eternally grateful for all of her great work to get this out into the world.
Stacy: And if you have a moment to rate and review or subscribe if you’re on YouTube, this is number one, the best way to continue to get great interviews like this one with Fred. And also it helps me a lot to reach more listeners and viewers with the message of living a life that’s not just better, but beyond better. And I will be back with you before you know it.
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