Hady: We’re not always raised, you know, and there’s a saying in Spanish, calladita te ves más bonita, like be quiet. You know, you look prettier when you’re quiet. So what does that tell young Latinas? It’s like, you know, no one asks you or you know, when I want to know your opinion, I’ll ask you. And so imagine that’s your, the belief you’re walking into. So you don’t trust yourself if you’re like, I want to say something, but maybe people don’t want to hear it, or maybe it’s wrong, or maybe it goes in direct opposition to somebody who’s more senior to me. And how is that going to come off? So I think trusting yourself is important and I think also being very self aware.

Hady: So like knowing what your values are, knowing what your purpose is and like stepping into that, you know, if you know what you’re there to do. If you want to make a better product and that’s your purpose, if you want to like make other employees feel valued and celebrated, if that’s your purpose or if you have even yet another purpose. You just like an amazing people leader and as a manager, you really want to show up for your employees. Whatever your purpose is, like, leaning into that I think is, can be very rewarding.

Hady: And I think, you know, when you have that alignment of the work that you do and the purpose that you feel you’re, you know, the thing that you’re here to do in the world, that alignment, I think can be quite magical because then, you know, things are more smooth, they flow more easily being in alignment with the person that you’re supposed to be.

Stacy:Welcome. Welcome. I’m really excited about the conversation today because we will be talking a lot about personal freedom and empowerment with somebody I really admire, somebody whose book Journey I have had the honor of supporting and have watched her through this whole process of writing her book and getting it out into the world. Let me tell you a little bit about this week’s guest. Hadi Mendez is a New York based best selling author, Latina speaker and erg coach.

Stacy: She is the founder and CEO of Boldly Speaking llc, a company that is transforming the professional experiences of underestimated professionals by providing them with the skills to rise and thrive in the corporate world or in whatever path they choose. Hadi, welcome. Hola.

Hady: How are you, Stacy?
Stacy: I am good. I’m so excited to get to talk with you today. You know, we’ve gotten to know each other really well through your book Journey, but I haven’t actually gotten to really dig into your personal stuff story in a lot of detail just through conversation. So as I was prepping for our conversation today, I realized I was going to get to have a very different conversation with you than I’ve ever had.

Hady: Yes.

Stacy: And I would love to start with your backstory. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about your backstory and what led you into the work that you do today?

Hady: Sure. So I’m a New Yorker through and through, born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and I started my off my career in technology. So I, when I first graduated from college, which I went to also in New York, I, I went, I worked for a consulting company, one of the major consulting companies and I did that for a couple years and eventually and I was doing lots of customer facing work which by the way, I love. That’s like one of my favorite things. And I went on to work for a bunch of other companies, always pretty much at the intersection of technology and financial services. That’s kind of my sweet spot. And yeah, lots of customer facing roles which I loved.

Hady: And about 20 years into my career, for a variety of reasons which we may or may not get into today, I ended up leaving corporate and I went to go be a missioner or a volunteer in South America. And I would say that has a lot to do with like discovering my purpose and just like being brave enough to do something about it. Like once I was like clear on like what I was supposed to be doing in this world, I, I took the bold step of moving to South America. I lived there for two years. I know you know about living in other places and I lived in Cochabamba, which is the Third largest city in Bolivia, and I was a volunteer there, and I worked at a women’s prison. For the most part, I worked with incarcerated and formerly incarcerated women. And. Hady:
And then I came back to New York after I left there, and I worked at a school for three years as a community school director. And I worked in New York City in the South Bronx, which your listeners may or may not know is the poorest congressional district in the United States. So a community that had a lot of need, and that really reminded me of the community where I grew up in. And I, I just loved the work, but I was very broke and I was very, like, overworked in that job. And so I ended up deciding to go back to tech, and I went back to tech, and I, I’ve been in. I was in tech for probably about four years before getting laid off in the beginning of 2023.

Hady: And my last corporate role was head of equality at a major tech company. And so after I lost my job, I was looking for work, and then I was like, I think I’m going to, like, just start my company to, like, make a little money, as I, you know, because the market wasn’t great and still isn’t great two years later. But I said, let me just start the business, because that was the kind of kick in the butt that I needed. I hadn’t been wanting to start a business for some time, and that was just the impetus that really got me to. To start it, to officially launch it. And I’ve been doing that ever since. So now, as you said, I’m, you know, working with professionals in the workplace. I do this through coaching. And I, and I. You mentioned DRGs.

Hady: ERGs are Employee Resource groups. So I work with employee resource group leaders. I. I coach them. I may end up being an advisor to, like, a HR team. I do workshops, speaking engagements, boot camps, content creation, you name it. And now I’m writing a book. And I’m writing a book for women like me, which is. I think I’ve always had a special place in my heart for the underestimated community and people that are marginalized, but in particular for other women of color. That’s my sweet spot. And so I’m writing a book for that particular segment of the population.

Stacy: Wow. There’s so much in there and so many moments I’d love to drill into something that really struck me when you were talking about your personal story. And then also returning to work in the Bronx is just how different our upbringings and lives have been. Right. Like, I’m from Idaho. We call it Whiteaho. It’s one of the wealthiest areas of the country, actually. I think at one point we had the most millionaires per capita. I mean, it’s just a very wealthy, white, privileged area. And, you know, that I think for. For me going then from there to the Dominican Republic and all the countries that we’ve been after, that really shook me up and made me realize that there was so much more to the world and so much beyond this thing that I kind of always accepted as the norm.

Stacy: It wasn’t the norm. Right. Like, at all. I would love to know for you. You know, I was motivated by this, you know, idea of going somewhere new and having an adventure. It taught me so much, but I wasn’t expecting that when I. When I started living abroad. But you made a very conscious choice to leave and go to Bolivia and volunteer in a women’s prison. And I would love to know a little bit more about that decision. What led you to that? What kept you there for two years? It’s a huge chunk of your life.

Hady: Maybe.

Stacy: Take me into that experience.

Hady: Okay. I think it was a combination of things. I would say sort of like the perfect storm, but I had lost my mother in 2008 and my sister in 2011. And then in 2012, I moved to Florida from New York for work. So, you know, losing two very close family members in a matter of three years was kind of a significant loss. And, you know, that kind of thing makes you really reflect on, like, your life and how you walk through the world and are you doing enough? And if you die tomorrow, have you lived out your purpose? Like, I couldn’t help but. But ask myself those types of questions. So. So that’s kind of where my head was at when I moved to Florida. Florida. And when I got there, I. I immediately got involved with.

Hady: Besides work, you know, that’s where I made most of my friends at work. But I also got involved in a church in my community, and they had a program, like a. Something you like. It was sort of like a program where you journeyed with. You met with the same group of people over, like, a period of, like, I think it was like nine months, maybe a year. And the program was about social justice and faith, like, that intersection. And we read, like, all these amazing books, and we did work in the community, and we watched movies and documentaries, and were studying everybody’s life. Martin Luther King and Bishop Romero and, like, all these amazing. Dorothy Day and all these amazing people. And I was like, I felt very Cold.

Hady: I was like, whoa, I think I’m supposed to be doing something bigger than I’m doing. Like, I was just working at a bank. Like, I think I need to go do something bigger. And it’s. You know, I actually do write about this in the book, and it was a decision that I went back and forth on, like, for a very long time. So, like, I would start, let’s say I woke up in the morning and I’d be like, I’m going to go on mission. And then, like, as the day went through, I was like, but there’s no way, like, there’s no. The food I like is not going to be there. And like, this. It’s just. The lifestyle is going to be completely different. And, you know, I was working at a bank. I was making, like, six figures.

Hady: I had a very cushy life. So I was just like, I don’t know if I could do it. And then, like, by the end of the day, I would, like, go visit the website and see what the missioners were doing and all the fun, like, amazing, like, projects they were working on. And I was like, oh, I think I’m gonna. I think I’m gonna go. And anyway, this went on back and forth for about a year. During that time, I actually did travel to Haiti with my church for. For a week. And I also traveled El Salvador for probably, like, another week. And I would say those were both, like, really helpful to. To. To, like, so I wasn’t just, like, romanticizing it, but it helped me to see, like, on the ground. This is what it’s going to be, Hottie.

Hady: Like, are you really ready for this? And a lot of people were like, I don’t think you are ready for it. But I. But I. I was just fine. I mean, I got sick to my stomach and lots of other stuff happened when I was there, but ultimately I was just fine. And it ended up being a really powerful experience and transformational experience for me.

Stacy: It’s interesting, I think, for, obviously, I have not done what you’ve done, where you go and actually volunteer in a place like that. I think it just sounds like such a meaningful experience. And even in the experiences I’ve had, I’ve been kind of amazed at how quickly I adapt to a completely new way of life. You know, you think, oh, I’m used to all these things, like you said, the food, the. The luxuries actually, of living in America. Even here in Portugal, it’s cold in our house. We don’t, you know, we don’t have central heating. We don’t have a lot of the things, but you get really used to it. It just becomes normal and even. Yeah. There’s just so many things that I thought I could never adapt to, like not having this or that or.
Stacy: And then I imagine also being in the environment like a prison, to be in a prison. I’m sure that had some adjustment period to it as well, but I imagine over time, like anything else, you kind of get used to that environment. Is that true? Is that true for you?

Hady: Yes, it is true, but it’s not a. It wasn’t a prison. Like, in this country where, like, there’s bars and you’re. Everybody’s locked up behind bars like, there. Anyway, the prison that I went to, which I went to a couple times a week, it basically was like, there was a process to get in. So there was, like, guards and, like, they, you know, they would, like, check your license or, you know, whatever. Your identification, your passport, whatever you had as an id. But then once you got through the doors and they. And they also checked, like, patting you down type thing, but once you got in the door, everybody was free. Everybody was walking around. And the. And they also had, like, a little market inside the prison.

Hady: So, like, people were selling, like, fruit drinks and, like, cards and, wow, I don’t know, like a plate of food. It was just like, you know, that’s how they made their living. They. They’re not subsidized in the same way our country subsidizes someone who spends time in jail. So they, you know, they probably couldn’t afford to eat or have basic needs met if they didn’t have, like, a little side hustle. So it was just a different vibe and concept. But. But you’re right, I did adjust. And a lot of it was because the women were so friendly and so kind to me, which is, like, not what you expect, like, for a variety of reasons. One is because I’m the missioner, so I’m there to help them, but. And be their friends. But, like, they. They kind of.

Hady: It was mutual, you know, they were also my friends, and they got to know me, and they were like, how do you know you don’t look good today? What happened? And I’m like, oh, my stomach hurts. And they’re like, oh, you need to go home and rest. Like, you don’t look that great today. You know, like, they would. They would. They took care of me. And they were actually younger than me, too, which is the funny part, but they were younger than me. They were in prison. And they were the ones that were like, oh, you look like you need rest. You should take better care of yourself. Don’t come back tomorrow stay home, you know, so things like that.

Hady: So they really, they looked out for me and they were definitely my friends and I got very close to them and I cared about a lot of people there. You know, they were very important people during my time there.

Stacy: Wow. I’m sure that has had long lasting impact on you throughout your whole life. What an experience. I know a big part of your message and kind of the scope of your story is around personal empowerment, inherent worthiness. I would love to hear a story from you or a moment when you realize that you had more power available to you in a situation than you initially realized.

Hady: Yeah, there’s a lot of, there’s so many of them. I think like in general we walk around in life not realizing power that we have. It’s just so, you know, even as I think about the United States and you know, as American citizens, you know, there’s stuff we could be doing and you know, sometimes we get nervous or scared and sometimes we’re made to be nervous or scared to think like you don’t have power, but we do anyways. I talk about, there is one particular story that I talk about in the book. It’s a work related story which hopefully people can relate to. But I used to, I was a project manager at one point in my career and I was invited to steering committee meetings.

Hady: And in these steering committee meetings, usually it was like, defend your project and be like, we spent $1 million and you know, this is the ROI and we’re going to make a gazillion dollars by the year. And you know, things that. And so I used to go to these meetings because I was a project manager and it was a little bit intimidating because people like, you know, they, it was meant to be a little bit scary and it was just like, you don’t talk until you’re talked to and then like you answer the question that you were asked and then you just quiet and you’re like just waiting. It was like really intimidating. But it ended up. I got to know the people that were in the room over time.

Hady: Like sometimes I went to lunch with them or grabbed coffee or just, you know, stopped by their office and got to know them and they got to know me too. Which that in and of itself was one power move, like just letting them get to know me and me getting to Know them that helped me to not be as intimidated when I walked inside that room. The other thing is that over time I realized that the projects I was working on were really impactful and I was the one that knew the most about the projects out of everybody because I was the project manager. So then all of a sudden I had power.

Hady: Now they, no one, no one was telling me that I had the power, but I knew and I knew mostly because of the way they treated me like they started to be a little nicer to me. And anyways, it was such a powerful lesson for me to see how, you know, I walked in there feeling so nervous and scared when I first started going to those meetings and how over time I just, you know, the people were more accessible to me. I was a little bit more, you know, I had that power because I was the subject matter expert. I was, you know, making sometimes generating revenue for the company. And so I had a little bit of power even when I first walked in the door the first day.

Hady: But over time I got even more power and once I realized it, because sometimes you don’t even realize it, you know, sometimes you’re so conditioned to like walking into the room and being scared that you’re like, you just continue to do that even though things have changed. And once I realized and I noticed the shift, you know, I walked in there just in a different way. And it was really, for me, it was, it built a lot of confidence in me to, you know, for that trend as that transformation happened, you know, I eventually would walk in and be like, hey, what’s up? And just like chitchat with people. And it was like, that’s not allowed. And it’s like, sure, it’s allowed, it’s fine. I could chit chat with people in here.

Hady: And anyway, it was a powerful, just like, I guess, case study on, on watching how, you know, you really, you have more power than you think. And, and it’s great when you are able to step into it, for sure.

Stacy: I love that example. It’s such a good example of one of the things that my co author Ron Price and I talk about in our book Growing Influence is the three types of leaders. So there’s character, expertise and positional leaders. And a lot of times we assume that the leaders are the ones that are in the position of power. But you were leading from an area of expertise, right? Yes, people followed you because of what you knew. But also, I think, also character. Right? Like you Demonstrated over time of who you are. And I love that story. And I think it also really illustrates how much we have access to. Also if we’re aware and mindful of the influence that we can have and the power that we can have in different situations, I’m sure that part of that journey and transition for you.

Stacy: Well, you tell me if this is correct. My assumption would be that over this period of time, as you recognized and kind of also began to, like, wield benevolent, benevolently that power, probably there was, like, a confidence journey in that too. Is that a fair assessment?

Hady: For sure. I think confidence plays a big role. Just getting comfortable with, you knowing your stuff, contributing in a meaningful way to conversations, understanding, like, nuances of how people communicate or like, you know, I mentioned the word erg when we started the employee resource groups. Like, people use, like ROI or, you know, the. Like different things in a conversation. And just be making sure that you are following the conversation and you can contribute in a meaningful way. I talk about how in the early stages of my career, I would be summoned to a meeting, and I always felt like I was on the defensive. It was always like I had to justify something, you know, justify spending or justify a decision or whatever the case might be. And I, you know, over time, it have. It got.

Hady: So it got to the point that I would show up in meetings with an objective. I also had an objective, even though someone else had called the meeting. That doesn’t mean you can’t show up with your own goals. And maybe my goal is just that I wanted my idea to be heard. That’s. That’s fine. Or maybe I wanted to better understand a problem were trying to solve, whatever the case might be, but that. That’s a confidence to get to that point where I was like, my voice matters. What I have to contribute matters. I. I may look at things differently, but that’s not always bad. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Like, I would get down on myself and say, why didn’t I see it that way? And it’s like, I don’t know, because you just see it a different way.

Hady: But the way you see it, there’s some validity and there’s value there too. And you need to have the confidence to say, you know, I don’t know if we’re looking at this the right way, or, you know, something that occurred to me was this, and we haven’t talked about that yet, or, you know, whatever the case might be. And I think as a woman, as a Latina, as a Woman of color. You know, sometimes being the only in a space really puts us at a disadvantage because we just feel like I’m just seeing this so differently or I don’t know, I’m not following a conversation or I just don’t know what people are talking about or maybe I tried to say something last time and people kind of pooed me or shut me down.

Hady: So I don’t know that I want to like put my hand in the fire again and get burned again. So there’s a lot going on. I feel like a lot of underestimated people do feel like a fish out of water when they first enter some spaces. And that’s probably, there’s probably not a lot of awareness that is the case. So. And we kind of have to like solve for that behind the scenes. So it’s just like you’re in the meeting. What more do you want? It’s like, well, I want to be included and I want to be, I want my opinion to be valued and I want to be validated in the things that I say and I want you to ask me my opinion and all those things. But it’s just like, it’s just not enough to be in the room.

Hady: Like we really want to be fully present and participating and sometimes it’s gonna, that’s gonna have to come from us. We’re gonna have to position ourselves that way.

Stacy: These are such, I think, tangible stories that you’re sharing. I’m sure that there are many people listening to this that are like, I have had that exact situation in, you know, different context. If somebody is listening to this and they’re really feeling seen and heard by what you’re saying and they are in, you know, an underestimated group, as you put it. What are some strategies or tools that you often offer in your workshops to your clients that can help them move into that place of feeling, a sense of personal power of confidence in these day to day situations. Did you know that research shows that 80% of people want to write a book and yet less than 1% about actually do? And it’s not because they don’t have a story or expertise to share. It’s because they don’t know where to start.

Stacy: And I really get it. Writing a book can feel overwhelming. But here is the truth. Writing the right book, the right way can be an absolute game changer for your life and business. It can position you as a leader in your industry and open doors that can lead to Long term impact and increased revenue. That is exactly why I’m hosting a free masterclass on March 28, 2025. In this hands on session, I’ll guide you through the process of identifying your catalyst book. It’s that book that is a catalyst for your big vision in the world. I’ll get you started with a creative ideation process that will help you to find the right book for right now, that book that will help expand your influence and impact.

Stacy: By the end of this session, you’ll walk away with the start of ideation of helping define that book erosion roadmap to get started so you’re not always wondering what’s next and the confidence to take the first step toward authorship. Even if you’ve never seriously considered writing a book, this session will get you started in thinking bigger about your future and how a book can be a catalyst to help you get there. So if a book has been on your mind for a while, why not take action? You can sign up for this free masterclass stacyenis.com/booktoscale that’s stacyennis.com/booktoscale. I’ll be sure to drop that in the show notes and I hope to see you at the masterclass.

Hady: Well, this is the book I’m telling you I’m going to tell you everything that’s in the book. But, or at least I’ll tell you some of the stuff. I think a lot of it is like trusting yourself is a big one. Like just, you know, I, I think we’re not always raised, you know, and there’s a saying in Spanish, calladita te ves más bonita. Like be quiet. You know, you look prettier when you’re quiet. So what does that tell young Latinas is like, you know, no one asked you or you know, when I want to know your opinion, I’ll ask you. And so imagine that’s your, the belief you’re walking into.

Hady: So you don’t trust yourself if you’re like, I want to say something but maybe people don’t want to hear it or maybe it’s wrong or maybe it goes in direct opposition to somebody who’s more senior to me. And how is that going to come off? So there’s a lot of like. So I think trusting yourself is important and I think also being very self aware. So like knowing what your values are, knowing what your purpose is and like stepping into that, you know, if you know what you’re there to do if you want to make a better product and that’s your purpose, or if you want to like make other employees feel valued and celebrated, if that’s your purpose or if you have even yet another purpose. You’re just like an amazing people leader.

Hady: And as a manager, you really want to show up for your employees. Whatever your, your purpose is, like, leaning into that I think is, can be very rewarding. And I think, you know, when you have that alignment of the work that you do and the purpose that you feel you’re, you know, the thing that you’re here to do in the world, that alignment, I think can be quite magical because then, you know, things are more smooth, they flow more easily. And anyway, I think that can be a really good strategy is just being in alignment with the person that you’re supposed to be.

Hady :And you know, and I think people, a lot of people might be familiar with the term code switching and how, you know, you got to show up one way, but you’re like really this other person and you can’t be fully present or fully authentic or, you know, you can’t be yourself because yourself is just. Maybe there’s some questions about whether that’s enough or if that’s professional enough or if it’s the executive presence that people are looking for. There’s a lot of coded words in professional spaces that are very, can be very off putting and make. Question, make people question like whether they should say things or whether they should show up more fully or whether they should lean in.

Hady: But, but I would argue that, you know, you’re gonna have to build a wall around yourself and that comes with confidence and trusting yourself and knowing what’s, what drives you, why you’re really, what are you really here to do. I think all those things really help.

Stacy: I know you have a lot in your book to offer readers that are on this journey for themselves. One of the things that struck me as you’re sharing about the content in your book and this idea of championing yourself, celebrating your successes is also this kind of almost need to be your own hype person, right, to vocalize to other people the value that you bring. I have a friend, Misty Magia, who is amazing at this. She’s so good at sharing what she’s a genius and what she’s great at, celebrating her successes. At least I know she definitely does it with me. And I’m sure she does it in other situations as well. And I’m sure that there’s. When she does it feels so natural and so celebratory. It never comes off any other way then wow, that’s so cool.

Stacy: And I notice that people that are really good at that self advocacy of talking about what they’re good at claiming their area of genius and even saying like, this is my area of expertise, they basically train people over time to believe that is their area of expertise, which is where like content comes in online. Right. But it’s the same I think, idea in a boardroom or when you’re on sales calls or whatever it is. Has that shown up for you in your. Or do you feel that way about how you need to show up and how has that shown up for you in your journey?

Hady: Yeah, I think self advocacy and self promotion, which I think is like the combination of things that you’re talking about that miss is really good at. I think that’s super important. I talk a lot about that in my book. I talk about like, you know, owning your narrative, taking up space, you know, being audacious, like having the audacity to like think like I’m better than somebody else or that I’m really, I’m the best at this particular thing. Like having the audacity to do that. Like, that can be pretty powerful. So I do feel like all of those are good strategies. I talk about like getting people to acknowledge you. Like, I’ve walked into rooms where people ignore me. I don’t know if that happens to everybody, but it’s happened to me and I’ll.

Hady: And when I experience it, you know, it, sometimes it can be a little unnerving. And I’m just like, okay, you’re gonna ignore me, all right, so. And I’ll be like, oh, hello, it’s good to see you again. Or hey, it’s nice to meet you, I’m hottie. Like, you know, just forcing people to acknowledge you can be quite powerful. Depends on the setting. Right. And depends why they were ignoring you. Maybe somebody was looking at something on their phone that know there’s reasons. But, but I think a lot of that, you know, can be. A lot of these strategies can be quite powerful. I learned a lot about self promotion, taking a course called I am Remarkable. I don’t know if you ever heard it.

Hady: No, it’s a Google course and I worked at a company where they offered it and basically they teach you all the reasons why this, it’s necessary for you to self promote. So things like women don’t like women. That, that’s that? So, so men don’t like women that self promote and women don’t like women that self promote. But nevertheless like everybody’s self promoting. And so you still gotta like get in there anyway and do the thing because that’s what your peers are doing. That’s what everyone’s doing. So even though you might think like, yeah, I’m great at, I’m a great project manager, I’m a great salesperson, or I’m a great entrepreneur or great whatever the thing is that you love to do, you might be great.

Hady: But if your peers are constantly telling other people about how great they are, there’s like a perception or a feeling that maybe you aren’t as great if you’re not talking about it too. So that’s the rationale for doing it. And then it’s just a matter of building the muscle. And there’s a lot of like, reasons why people don’t do it. So we learned that in the class too. Sometimes it’s cultural, you know, it’s frowned upon. It’s not a good look, you know. You know, I think I come from a community where it’s not a good look necessarily when people. There’s a saying in Spanish, means that you’re like full of yourself. And it’s not a good look, but it’s a balance. So you could still like self promote and talk about the things you’re doing great with in a humble.

Hady: You can still do it in a somewhat of a humble way. It’s a balance and it’s a muscle that you have to learn how to flex. And this I am remarkable course basically goes through all the data and then it goes through all these strategies to teach you how to do it and what it looks like. And then you get to practice and, and the class does a really nice job of reminding you that even in the most simple things, you can be remarkable. So it could be like, I’m remarkable because I survived rest cancer or I am remarkable because I’m a mom to two baby boys that are, you know, joyful and happy and like, you know, so you don’t have to be extraordinary. You.

Hady:
But there’s things that you can be proud of and there’s reasons that all of us are remarkable in the things we do every day. And so that’s what the course teaches you. And then, you know, there’s like some accountability at the end. Usually people get together and they have like, either like a thread or like a email thread or like A chat thing. And they’re like, there’s even like a LinkedIn group, and I have remarkable LinkedIn group where people, like, practice in there as well. But the idea is to hold each other accountable. And then I think once you get good at it, you know, then you don’t need to kind of practice it in that particular way. But then you just start talking about the things you’re doing.

Hady:And I agree with you that it feels weird, especially if you’ve not done it for if you’ve had reasons not to do it or if culturally, or maybe you’re like, more introverted or whatever. Like, you know, I’m not. I feel like I have a harder time saying it out loud, but I don’t mind writing it. And there’s probably other people that feel that way too. And then there’s probably other people that, like, don’t want to write it and they just want to talk about it. And like, there’s room for everybody under the sun. But it is a good skill to have along with things like taking up space and, you know, and that sometimes is literal. Literal space and figurative space and then just owning your narrative and not allowing people to dictate who you are. You.

Hady: You know yourself best, so you get to tell the world how you are. And I found that one was the biggest. One of the biggest ones for me because I had a lot of people telling me who I was at work and in some other professional spaces, and I’m like, I don’t. I don’t know, but that. I don’t think that is me. And then eventually I was like, this is me. I. I, like, had an opportunity to reflect. And then I chose that. I was like, this is what I’m going to communicate to other people before. Before people tell me I’m going to let them know who I am. And that’s. There’s nothing more empowering than being able to own your narrative.

Stacy: I love the, just kind of like, ownership of these spaces. That’s the vibe that I get from how you describe this. It also made me think that one of my. Well, one of my kind of strategies for getting comfortable with self. Self promotion, because like any female, I think the female experience as a whole is commiseration in the bad. It’s not necessarily like celebrating our successes and sharing joy. And I think that’s changing. But I think most of us grew up in cultures where we kind of talk about our bodies or we talk about the things that aren’t going right or, And Then we’re taught to shrink. We’re taught to be small.

Stacy:To your point, one of the things that I’ve been doing with my daughter, and it’s joking, but I kind of go a little on the other direction of I’ll say, like, how does it feel to have the coolest mom in the whole school? I’ll say these things to her. And we both know I’m being silly, but actually it’s really helpful for me to just practice not being humble. And even if I’m being silly about it’s a nice practice. Practice for me. And then I think also, like, home and friends is where you can safely practice some of these things. So talking about what you’re good at, celebrating with your friends, your partner, your parents, whoever, your siblings, and sharing that joy and sharing those successes, I think those are safe places that you can begin to build.

Stacy: Even just like how to say things that you’re proud of, how to use that language and know hopefully if you are in a safe environment with good people, that it will be met with a joyful, you know, celebratory response on the other side.

Hady: Exactly, exactly. I know that, like the first few times I did it in a more public space like LinkedIn, it was awful. It was just like so painful. I was like, oh my God, what? What’s my manager gonna say? Or what’s my manager, man? You know, my manager’s manager gonna say, what? What if the CEO sees it? Or, you know, like some. I had like bad, you know, like the worst I was envisioning or imagining like the worst case scenario, but like, no big deal. People liked it. And then, you know, I did it again like a hundred thousand more times and it’s fine. And now I’m quite comfortable with it.

Stacy: Yeah, I mean, you get comfortable over time, I think, right? When you keep doing it. And you’re right. The first time is no matter what it is, your first time reading your writing aloud or publishing your first video or advocating for yourself, it’s always uncomfortable the first time, but it feels a.

Hady: Little bit like imposter syndrome type thing.

Stacy: Yeah, exactly. I would love to talk about your book journey. You’ve mentioned the book that you’re working on a few times during our conversation. I know you’re already a published author, so this is your. Because the other book that you worked on, you were in collaboration with some other authors. So this is your first full hottie only book. I would love to, for you to share. I know you’ve shared widely on substack and LinkedIn about your writing journey. You share a lot of detail, which has been really fun for me because I don’t always get to see that much behind the scenes with authors that I’m. That I’m guiding. Right. You know, like, it’s all the nitty gritty that I don’t always get to see that level of detail.

Stacy: So for me, it’s been really cool to follow your journey through that medium in addition to the times that we get to connect. But maybe you can tell our listeners just a little bit about your journey in writing this book. Book. And I’d love for you to share any roadblocks or maybe one particular roadblock that you’ve had to overcome along the way.

Hady: Well, for the most part, it has been an amazing journey, super lifegiving. I’ve, you know, I’ve discovered that I feel a lot of peace and joy when I write. And one of the. The things that was most important to me was in. In that other. The other book that I contributed to. I wrote a chapter in the book that the other book you referenced. I shared something that was a little bit triggering for me. And one of the promises or commitments that I made for this book is that I wanted it to be joyful. That’s not to say that I don’t share hard things or talk about hard things, but for the most part, you know, I feel like it wasn’t triggering to me, and I don’t think it’ll be triggering to the reader.

Hady: I think there’s a lot of, like, personal things that I share that, you know, sometimes I. I’ve made myself cry when I reread the manuscript from time to time, but it’s just because I’m remembering the moment and I’m like, oh, my God. Yeah, I totally remember that. And maybe my readers will cry, but I don’t think it’ll be triggering. So anyway, that. That’s a long way of saying it’s been a joyful process and I’ve. And I want it. I hope that all that joy I’m pouring into it and that I’m experiencing firsthand is going to be something that the readers benefit from when it’s their turn to read the book. That said, I also haven’t had a lot of obstacles. So I was.

Hady: I’m going to give you a plug for you, because once I wrote the outline, the book was written, like, that’s basically it. And that’s a true statement. The outline was what I needed to get the book written. And you know, yes, I’ve, you know, with the editor, we’ve done, you know, some edits here and there and I made it better. But the book was written once the outline was done. So I will give a lot of credit and kudos to you for that process because it worked perfectly. Also, I would say even before the outline was done or maybe even while the outline was done because that was around, I think November and when were get, we got to the online part, it coincidentally was around the same time of the election.

Hady: And I would say if I had a hard time, I think you might recall this time in my journey, it was then, because it was right after the election where I was like, what is the point of writing this book? Like, the world is about to, like, who knows what’s going to happen in the next few years? Like, is it, is this book important or is this book important enough to focus on when there’s sort of bigger fish to fry, so to speak? And I think. So that was, I think my hardest moment. And I. And you played a big role, Stacy, again in just affirming that it’s like, no, like maybe this is what, this is your way of responding to what’s happening to the world.

Hady: And maybe now more than ever people do need to hear the perspective of someone that’s, you know, not a mainstream person, but someone whose experience is a little bit different. And maybe people like me need to continue to see themselves in the stories and the books that they’re reading. So I think I ultimately, you know, it was hard to make that like pivot because I was very convinced that like this just was not a good idea anymore. Like it just didn’t seem important enough anymore. And I think even the other classmates, they were like, no, you have to write the book. You must write the book. You know, so everyone was like, you have to write it. So I was like, okay, I guess I’ll write the book then. And anyway, it’s been a great journey.

Hady: It’s helped me a lot to focus on good things and positive things. So I feel like it’s even been part of my self care plan to just be writing and focus on this book. And one really cool thing that happened to me is that I was doing, I was meeting with a bunch of DEI practitioners, Diversity, equity and inclusion practitioners. And this was a couple of weeks ago. And so they were not in the best of spirits, but I was supposed I was going to give them a sneak peek at some of the lessons from my book and it just kind of felt like a little bit not meeting the moment.

Hady: So my conversation partner and I were like, how can we still talk about the book but meet the moment and meet people where they are and make sure that it’s a good fruit? And it was like 90 minutes, so it’s like, we have to get creative. Anyways, I will, I’m happy to say, and proud to say that I was still able to draw a lot from the lessons that I share in the book for that conversation. And it, and it wasn’t like a stretch. It wasn’t like, oh, I’m gonna like, you know, I gotta like, massage it 10 times over and then it applies. It was like, no, like that thing that I talked about is still super relevant even for this moment with this community of people.

Hady: Anyway, that was a surprise to me, but it made me happy that there’s, I think there will be broader applications for the book than just like my primary and secondary readers. Like, I feel like there definitely is a community of tertiary and I don’t know what a fourth level reader is called.

Stacy: Tertiary. That can’t be right, Larry.

Hady: But anyway, those other readers, I think there will be other readers that will benefit from it, and I’m excited about that. Like, that’s fun for me because, I mean, I’m so excited that my community gets to read it, but I’m also excited for other people to get to read it too, because I share a lot of myself and I’m proud of it. So I hope a lot of people read it.

Stacy: It’s nice that you got to have that experience with the content of the book in the real world and kind of like have that little test to see the value that it brings even outside of your intended audience.

Hady: Yes.

Stacy: One of the things that you have done extraordinarily well, and I think you are a model to other aspiring authors, is you have maintained really strong momentum throughout this whole process. I know you mentioned this period with the election. Normal, right? To have something that huge set you back a little, you’re kind of like in a tailspin for a little bit until you write yourself and continue forward. But overall, you have been really steady. You have kept great energy, and you’ve also moved pretty fast with some of the, like, later pieces of selecting your publisher, your editor, your publisher, and kind of moving that forward. I’d love to know what you can offer other aspiring authors from how you’ve approached this project from a kind of an energy, momentum, movement perspective, because it’s Very different than how a lot of other authors approach it.

Stacy: There’s kind of a little bit more of a slower, kind of stretchier approach. But you’ve gone all in, and you have knocked it out, but you’ve done it with such care and presence along the way. It’s not like you rushed anything. Momentum is just the word that I think fits. So can you talk a little bit about that in your journey?

Hady: Yes. Well, one is. I guess the first thing I’ll say is that once I wrote the book, like, I’m like, I really want to see it out in the world. So just, I think general enthusiasm has been a lot of the driving force that I want to get it out as soon as possible. But obviously, I want it to be a really good product. So I have to go through all the traditional things, like the editing. And by the way, I’m starting copy editing today, which means I’m done with content editing. And I want to give a shout out to Sandy, my content editor, who was such a great partner. I really enjoyed working with her. She made the process really fun. But I would say that I definitely leverage my network.

Hady: So, like, I know so many other Latina authors that are coming through the process right now. And I was just like, who’d you use? Who’d you use? Like, what, you do this, you know? So I was like, let me just ask. You know, they’re. They’re there, and I have access to them, and I know a lot of them didn’t have access. They didn’t necessarily have access to other people. And they’re like, well, I would have done it different, but, like, this is what I ended up doing. And so I’m kind of learning from their experiences. I feel like I’m leaning in to other authors. I’m excited about the work, and I want to get it out there, and I want it to, like, be part of what I offer as part of, like, my business as a business owner.

Hady: I want the book to be in the world and part of my offering. And then I would say the other thing is that I knew that I know about myself, that I am a. A fast writer. I knew that about myself going into it, and. But I also was very disciplined. So I literally set aside nine to 12, Monday through Thursday for, like, five months, you know, So I think when I booked the course, I just did it till like, the. The end of the course, and I just, you know, and. And. And I kept it. So, like. And I’m lucky because a lot of people don’t like morning meetings. So even though I’m a morning person and the morning is a great time for me to write, most people don’t want to meet with me at 9:30 or 10, so it’s fine.

Hady: So I would work in the morning and then I break for lunch and then I would take the meetings in the afternoon. And that was that. And I got used to it. And I was very disciplined. I’m a dis. I would say that, you know, that’s a characteristic of mine is that I’m very disciplined. So it’s just like it was on the calendar. I respect what’s on the calendar. And like, you know, when you go to schedule a meeting with me on calendar, you can book a meeting with me in the morning. Like it’s just the time isn’t there. So like nobody can book a meeting. And so that part becomes pretty easy. And yeah, and I think, and I think I was definitely in the flow. You know, for anybody who’s ever written or knows people who’ve written there, that’s a term.

Hady: And I actually didn’t know it was a term. It was just like the best word to describe my experience. And then I found out, like, oh, wait, people talk about this thing all the time. But for me it was just like there was a rhythm and it was just like. And, and I was doing some best practices that I didn’t even know were best practices. But like, one of the cool things I would do is I would reread what I wrote the previous day, the next day to kind of get me back in the space. And then I would start typing again and I would edit a little bit, but just very little from the day before. And so, but I didn’t. I also followed your recommendation, which was don’t keep going back to the first chapter, just keep writing.

Hady: So like, I basically was like, I wrote chapter one and then the next day I would look at chapter one and write chapter two. Then the next day I would, you know, reread chapter two and write chapter three. And so, you know, I just kind of did as I was told. So I’m a good rule follower. And I did as I was told. And, and that was game changing. Like, it just really was very helpful because it allowed me to make progress and still like, kind of make a little bit of edits because you always want to do a little tweaking, but like, don’t overdo it. And yeah, and then I used, I was able to use those same, the same Discipline those same strategies.

Hady: Even when I was working with the editor and she’s like, you got to like, add more to this because that transition feels weird or it feels like it’s missing something, or you need to explain to the reader why when you did that, it worked. And I was like, the first, like when I first saw it, I was like, oh my God, how am I going to do that? And then I just said, okay, what did you do before? Just do the same thing, reread, leading up to it, and then get your back in it and then you write and that’s it. The end. That’s. That’s how you do it. And that’s what worked for me. So maybe I got lucky.

Hady: I feel like maybe there’s, you know, some part of this that feels like, you know, I was like in the right place at the right time and maybe like just not wanting to connect with the real world a little bit, like hiding in the book. Maybe that’s also been really helpful, like, indirectly. But. But I just feel like I got into a very good rhythm and I was very fortunate. And then, you know, people told me about their people and I met people and I’m like, great. Like, I, I also don’t like, I don’t like stretching out decision making processes. I’m not, that’s not me. So I’m like, yes, this person seems perfectly qualified and is a, seems like a kind person. And the vibe is good that she passed the vibe check or they passed the vibe check. Let’s go.

Hady: By the way, my team is all women, so that is something that I want to share with the world. My team is all women and at least more than half of them are Latina, which I’m also like so excited about. So anyway, so. So anyway, yeah, I feel like a lot of it was just good momentum followed by more good momentum. Like, it just kind of like the, A little ball kept rolling down the hill and things kind of got picked up in there. And then I feel like I did connect with some really amazing people. And anyway, I just feel really lucky and blessed. It’s been a very, very positive experience so far. And I hope that’s. I’ll get to say that all the way till the end.

Stacy: Yeah, it’s been so cool to see all of the momentum I mentioned and to your point, all of the structure that you gave yourself and the discipline and the follow through and then retaining that space for yourself as you continued through the editing, that’s so important that you created all you did everything that you needed to do to create the right conditions, to achieve that flow state, to follow through, and to get this done. And then you also reminded me, I think when we first met you. You. You were like, essentially, the whole purpose of this call is a vibe check. I think when we. When you and I first met, I.

Hady: Was like, I like her referred to me by Gigi. And Gigi’s like, she’s amazing. So I’m like, okay, she’s amazing. So I just need to know, can I. Can I work with her? Because she’s. I already know she’s amazing, and that’s good. Like, trust your friends. Like, because I know I love Gigi, so it’s like, I love Gigi. Gigi loves Stacy. Therefore, I probably am going to love Stacy. So. But let me just make sure. And, yeah, I do feel like that helped me a lot. Those were a lot of great shortcuts. Just taking tips from other people.

Stacy: Yeah, I love it. Okay, my last question for you. This is my new standard podcast question is if you could recommend one book to listeners so it’s one that’s really profoundly impacted your life, what would it be?

Hady: Okay, I’m going to try not to cry when I say this. It’s not like a sad thing, but. But it isn’t a little bit of an emotional thing. The book is a thousand percent the Memo by Minda Hart. And the reason it’s that book is because it was the first time that I saw myself in a book that was like, a professional. Like, a book about the professional journey of women of color. And I was like, oh, my gosh. She’s saying, like, she’s telling the world how our experience is, like, that. That really does happen to us. And I feel like up until that moment, I don’t think there were a lot of people brave enough to say it or call it out or, you know, sometimes you really feel like it’s only happening to you.

Hady: So, like, to put it out there and say, you know, this is something that happens to us, and it’s like, yes, that happened to me, too. And I really hope. My hope is that when people read my book, they’re going to say the same thing in that. And by the same thing, I mean, that happened to me, too. Like, yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about, because that happened to me because I feel like there’s such a. That. That is such a feeling of comfort to know that you’re not the only one to go through an experience. And when I Read Min. This book, like chapter after chapter was like, oh my God, that happened to me. Like, I can’t believe it happened to her too.

Hady: And come to find out it happens to so many of us, you know, but that was like almost my. That was a very eye opening experience for me because it was the first time I saw myself from a, as a professional woman of color in a book and in such a transparent way that it was like an honest way. Like it wasn’t just like, oh, you know, sometimes we have to code switch. It’s like, no, girl, there’s a lot more to it than that. And this is real talk. We’re going to tell you how it is. And it just was like I never felt seen in that way before. I never felt seen in that way before.

Stacy: That’s so beautiful. And I think it’s just such a great example of why it’s so important to share our stories. There are people out there that need your book and I believe strongly that this will be a moment for somebody just like that book was for you. Hadi, thank you so much for joining me. I’d love for you to tell our listeners where they can follow your work, reach out to you and learn more about you and your book.

Hady: Of course. So I would say I abandoned a bunch of social media lately, so it’s slim pickings, what’s left. But I’m definitely on LinkedIn and I’m very active on LinkedIn so you can definitely find me there. You can message me there. We can set up time to talk there if you want to talk. So LinkedIn is great. And then I would say the other really cool place that I spend time on these days, and we mentioned it during already, is substack. So I started my substack in January and it actually was in Stacy’s class. Someone came in a marketing person and said, you should all have a substack right now. And I was like, okay. And I started the sub stack. And that day.

Stacy: Didn’t you?

Hady: It might have been that day because I was like, oh, I didn’t, like, I didn’t know I should be doing this. I better go do it. And then I committed to posting twice a week, which I’ve since discovered is quite ambitious. But I do like writing. That’s the upside and it’s fine. I don’t give myself a lot of pressure that it has to be this amazing literary, you know, thing. It’s just me sharing information and it’s very basic, very accessible. Stacy and I call my Writing accessible. And I would say, like, it’s definitely accessible in. In. In the substack as well. So I’m Hottie Unfiltered. That’s where you’ll find me. Hottie Unfiltered is the name of my substack. And I said something the other day, and I just want to keep it. I want.

Hady: I want to put it out there because I think it’s really important, maybe for other people that are thinking about writing. And in terms of what you said before about, like, being, like, representing our communities in. In the stories that we tell. But I wrote something on Substack that it’s like my quote now. And it’s like, it’s not so much that I’m a great writer, it’s that I have something to say. And I feel like that is, you know, it’s, like, so basic, but it’s also so true. And I would say, you know, you don’t have to be a great writer to be on Substack. You don’t have to be a great writer to even write a book.

Hady: But if you have something unique, a unique experience or something that you want to tell the world that you feel is really important, I think that’s a good reason to write. And the editors and coaches, like Stacy can help you with getting the writing to the right level. But if you have something to say, I think that’s the most important thing.

Stacy: I love that, Hadi. And then also, like, who’s to say what great writing is? Because I think that great writing is writing that connects with readers and helps them feel seen. And to me, that is, like, what great writing is. And a lot of times we set our standards for writing based on actually, like, a small group of people’s decision on what great writing is. So I think especially also when we are telling a wide variety of stories from a wide variety of backgrounds, that also necessitates showing up differently on the page, which me fall outside of, like, the literary community’s, you know, idea of great writing. So. But I love that message of. Of the story and really, ultimately that’s what matters. So thank you, Hadi, for joining me today. It’s been so fun.

Stacy: I loved getting to spend extra time with you, and we’ll be sure to link to all of the. The places that you mentioned in our show notes, and thanks for spending this time with me.

Hady: Okay, thanks, Stacy.

Stacy: And thank you to Rita Domingues, as always, for her production of this podcast. She is truly the reason that it happens at all. I just record. She does everything else. And I am very grateful. If you’re still listening, if this episode impacted you, would you share it with a friend? I’m sure that there is somebody out there that would really benefit from this conversation with Hadi. And then, as always, as I do every week, I’ll ask, I’ll, I will ask for your time to rate and review this podcast. It makes a huge difference in my ability to reach more listeners with the message of living a life that is not just better, but beyond better. And I will be back with you before you know it.