Transcripts for Episode 126

These transcripts were generated by robots, not writers.

 

Dr. Luissa: I wanted to teach by example. One thing is to talk about something that you never gone through. But if you have gone, if I have gone through this, I have a story to tell. I have decided to share it with the world because I want others to benefit from the story and its teaching. So what I mean by thriving in life and not surviving is that you yourself, you are the captain of your own fate. You drive your own ship. You can do it if you put your mind to it.

Stacy: Welcome. I’m so excited about this week’s podcast guest and to get to talk about what it is like to go after a big career goal, achieve that goal, and then decide that you want to go further and not just serve, in this guest case, your patients, but serve the wider world with your story and really what that takes to kind of come to that place where you’re like, okay, I’ve done all this work to get to this amazing place and let me think I’m just going to make my life more complicated and go for more. And I’m always inspired by people who really are called to serve, and it’s like calling them so deeply that they cannot resist the call. And that’s why I’m excited to introduce you to this week’s podcast guest, Dr. Lisa Kiprano.

Stacy: She is a refugee from the former communist Romania and a maternal fetal medicine specialist. Her mission is helping women heal both physically and spiritually through her own story and vulnerability. Through her telemedicine practice. Telemed, she provides high risk pregnancy care to all women beyond borders or geographical limitations. Her debut book, Push then breathe, is based on the first 15 years of her reborn life. On her platform, she invites women to join together in self empowerment, intentional presence, and resilience. Luisa, welcome. I’m so happy to have you here.

Dr. Luissa: Stacy, thank you for inviting me. And I’m so happy to be a guest in your podcast.

Stacy: You are one of the most inspiring people I think I’ve ever met in all factors of your life. And we’re going to talk in a little bit about your story. But just to give people high level, you went through an amazing number of obstacles to become a doctor. You became a doctor, not just a general doctor, but one of the most sought after types of doctors, a maternal fetal medicine specialist, which is a very difficult specialty to reach. You’re a triathlete, and now you’re a published author who is using her story to reach the world. And I am just curious to hear from you. What is it within you? What is that calling that you have that has inspired you to write this book and share it with the world?

Dr. Luissa: So I’m going to take you just a little bit from the beginning, when you started, what really drove me to become a doctor? Helping people. So the desire to help people fuel me from a very young age, I believe it’s like that. You have it or you don’t. Becoming a women’s physician, first an obstetrician, then a matronophil medicine physician, has allowed me to fulfill that need to help women, to help patients, and in a very special way. When you have the most important, and I believe the happiest moment outside getting married. The first is a family, the first important and happy part of your life. Having a baby. When I care for patients from all ages, all walks of life, and through my residency, my academia, my teaching, and also military career, I discovered this as a privilege.

Dr. Luissa: It is a privilege that is incomparable with anything else I would ever imagine. To help people, to give them back what they have most precious to them, their health. Sometimes you don’t realize how important our health is until something happens and illness strikes. And then that moment says, oh, my God. Doesn’t really matter what I have. I have to have my health. Nothing else really matter. So writing this book well came from the need to help people at a development level. Not the organic, the physical form, but also the emotional and the spiritual way. I decided to share this book and my story with the world so others can find their own light in the darkness, and with that, be able to help themselves and empower themselves.

Dr. Luissa: So when you harness this power and turn it into a great story of fulfillment and inspiration, then you have also the power to share it with others so others can pick up on it and provide it within themselves and better themselves. So it seems like a river that just keeps replenishing. It never runs dry.

Stacy: I love that so much. And I want touch on theme of life and birth. I think anybody who’s new to the term maternal fetal medicine or really thinking about high risk pregnancy, to your point, it is one of the most vulnerable experiences that most women will ever go through working with somebody like you, myself, and I’ve never really talked about this on the podcast. I had gestational cholestasis with my second child. I never got to see an MFM because it was diagnosed, and I was in an emergency induction the same afternoon because I was so late term. But it’s a very vulnerable space, and the vulnerability of birth is actually a theme that carries throughout your entire book. You have the sections of the book organized around this concept of birth, death, and rebirth.

Stacy: Can you talk a little bit about what the book is about? About just the story behind it and the message that book shares with readers?

Dr. Luissa: So the book initially came to par, started 36 years ago. I started writing the first chapter of this book a few months after I landed into America. Then I put it away, the first chapter, the beginning of the first chapter. It was actually written in Romanian because I did not speak English at the time. So then I can put it away. The seed, I call it, because really every book starts like an idea, starts with an idea, starts with a seed that this is kind of starts taking shape, slowly starts sprouting in our brains. So I put it away. I really didn’t look at it for many years. And then in 2018, I started to think about it again. I was well established physician at that time, was a single parent, the medical director for a practice indiana.

Dr. Luissa: And I said, you know, things are kind of leveling around about what about that chapter, what about that book? And started thinking about it on and off, but it became a constant thought. So I started one day recording myself, said, you know, I’m just going to do it. I am going to go gun ho, going to start doing this 15 minutes a day. I’m going to record myself. I remember the day I started. It was kind of rainy, drizzly, did it every day for about a week. And then life hit again. So I was like, well, I had to give something up. It’s like, well, I cannot give out work. I cannot give up being a mother. I cannot give up my workouts before work. Well, I felt really defeated, but I don’t stay defeated. I am an extremely persuasive individual.

Dr. Luissa: So after a couple of days, I say, you know, I’m just going to start researching. Let me see what’s out there. So I started looking up online, googling it, reading about book Coaching, and I ran into your site. I ran into, like I said, book writers, book coaches, book ghostwriters, and I found stacyennis.com. So I started reading about it. Then I emailed you through the contact form, and you responded. Then, I don’t know if you recall, but I do recall very well the place and the time when we spoke on the phone from the first time when there was a heart to heart conversation, a lot of tears, and what I envisioned about this book, what this book would mean to me. So you suggested I took the five day challenge writing course, and I did.

Dr. Luissa: So at the end of the five day challenge course, it just hit me like an epiphany. I’m like, there’s no way I can do this. There’s just no way. Because I’m just one person. And everything else that I’m carrying with me, I could do it after I retire. But that’s right now I can’t do it. And truth be told, and that’s one of the things I want to impart to our listener. Always try to be realistic. Be realistic in expectations. I want to be the prince of Taj Mahal, but I will never be. Okay? So let’s just cool it off a bit. So then I said, my revelation was this, if I let this seed go back dormant again, it will never happen. I mean, I just know. And it’s a sense of self awareness that I have. We all have.

Dr. Luissa: We just have to start learning how to read it to realize, know there are things that I hope I will do, and there are things I will do, and there are things that I know I will never pick back up. And this was one of them. So I called Stacy back, called you back, and I asked her if she would want to be my book coach and start our collaboration in writing this book. And you said yes. So this book, the way it’s to get into it just a little bit, this book is broken down in three sections. One is truly my life back in Romania, going into my desire to become a doctor, and how it was in communist Romania in those times in relationship with my life. And my.

Dr. Luissa: Now, the second chapter is my two months visit to the United States that turned into a lifetime trip or a lifetime journey, and all the trials and the tribulations that came with it. It was going like to the valley of the shadows. And then the third part is what I would like to call it, the rebirth. The rebirth after a very painful journey, very painful death. So my rebirth was crowned by going back to school and becoming a doctor and achieving my long life dream to help people, to medically be able to help people in their life journey.

Stacy: Luisa, one of the things that when were working together on your book, know, working through this coaching work and kind of bringing this book to life, that really struck me about you is that there were. And I actually get kind of emotional thinking about these points because there were all of these points where your life could have effectively ended. Like, there were so many deeply dark and hard. And, I mean, I even think about. And this is just one little sliver of what you experience coming to a new country with zero language, like no ability to communicate with anybody about anything, not having the documentation that you need to be able to freely move about or go home if you need to.

Stacy: I mean, there were all of these barriers that you faced, plus all these additional layers that you were experiencing with your father, who you were staying with. And this is one of the things that I know you and I really worked to uncover for the reader, because you could tell a story, but you can tell a story in a way that can actually uplift people. And so one of the things that I know you really worked hard to bring out in this storytelling is what it was that helped you through that. So that hopefully there’s another reader out there who maybe she’s in that shadowy valley, or maybe she’s just past it because she’s kind of come through it, but she’s working through her internal world. And not just this idea of surviving really hard things, but reigniting and going after your dreams.

Stacy: When you became a doctor, you were quite a bit older than all of your colleagues. You were a foreigner, right? You weren’t the traditional white male going through these medical programs in his 20s. You had all these things going. So I’d love. I mean, hopefully, anybody who this is resonating with will go buy the book, but if we could encapsulate that message of your own overcoming, how would you offer that to the reader? Or, sorry, to the listener who’s joining us today in our conversation.

Dr. Luissa: Well, that’s a very good point, and thank you for emphasizing it, because I tend to shy away from getting into the depths of it just yet. But it is true. This book, like it had the potential to go two ways. It’s a memoir, so the potential one was to just go that self pity, this is what happened. I made it. But it’s been hard for me, or this is what happened. It sucked, but I made it. And not only that, I made it. I made it through. Because, remember, you don’t just push through to it. You don’t push to your goal. You push through it to get to your goal.

Dr. Luissa: If you ever have practiced martial arts, it’s a big tenet that in that field that says that if you want to give a very meaningful and well placed strike, you don’t hit to the target, you hit through the target. So that’s really what comes through to this book. The book that shows that the message, that shows that we all have a choice. We have a choice to survive through life, or we have a choice to thrive to life. I chose to thrive to life.

Dr. Luissa: So I want to take you just a little bit through the process, because a lot of us, most of us and a lot of women out there like a great deal, and of overwhelmingly amount of women have gone through a lot of trials, tribulation, pain, suffering, or even are going through now as we speak with their families, their significant others. So we first must realize that whatever was handed to us in the past, what is happening now is something we must recognize, contain, and deal with it. It’s not easy, but we can’t ignore it. We cannot run from it, and we can now go around it. We just have to go through it. We must go through that valley of the shadows to get to the other side. And you know what I’m talking about.

Dr. Luissa: So, because if we don’t, we’re never going to achieve that full circle to be able to get what we really were meant to. We’re just kind of patching, and you can’t patch pain and suffering and trauma. You just have to rip it off and start the new. You have to learn from it and move forward, because if we don’t do that, it will really take over our lives. Like, we could have taken mine, taken over mine, takes over our future, and it keeps us bound because that’s like a source of poison that is just kind of ruminating. And we women keep saying to ourselves, when we go through this, oh, I deserve this, surely I deserve this. I brought this on to myself through my words, through my actions. Maybe I should have looked this way. Maybe I shouldn’t have carried myself this way.

Dr. Luissa: Maybe the dress I wore this way made them look at me in a certain way. And now here I am in the position that I am. Therefore, I’m damaged goods. This is simply not true. This is simply not true. And this is, however, how we limit ourselves. It is our brains that is self sabotaging because we’re looking it from a very skewed way, the way that our tormentors put us in that position. You’re no good. You can’t do anything without me. You are who you are because of me, and that’s not true. You will have to keep saying to yourself, you have to start saying to yourself, no, I can do it without anybody. I can do it by myself.

Dr. Luissa: I certainly can do what I want to do and rise without this person or this thing or this process that is keeping me in this filth. So you know how it is. It’s like staying anchored, willfully staying anchored to a huge boulder in the deepest, darkest valley and wondering, well, why can’t I fly? I just want to fly up there and be free. Let me just try again. Let me just try again. But we have to have the will to want to free ourselves in order to get up there. Another thing that I stressed in my book and in my message is that we cannot undo what has have happened to us. We just can undo the past.

Dr. Luissa: What we can do is that to realize that each one of us has this inner power, has this inner dream that we can revive and make it happen. And to get there, it means to reach your own potential. And it is really up to you. And when I say that it is up to you can’t worry about what other people think or what other people would say, because trust me, even if you please or try to please, 99% of them out there is still going to be 1% that are not going to be in the same rhythm with you. It’s just human beings. It’s human nature. So believing in yourself, believing in your powers, is the most important step that you can make in this path for self achievement. For myself, I wanted to teach by example.

Dr. Luissa: One thing is to talk about something that you never gone through. But if I have gone through this, I have a story to tell. I have decided to share it with the world because I want others to benefit from the story and its teachings. So what I mean by thriving in life and not surviving is that yourself you are the captain of your own fate. You drive your own ship. You can do it if you put your mind to it. Now, there are three things that I always think of it. Somebody asked me the other day, says, what are the things that you go by all the time? And I sat down and you always think about them, but you don’t really write them down. You don’t really like, okay, I’m going to make a list.

Dr. Luissa: So the other day I said, I’m just going to think about how to write this up because there’s only a couple of things that really, I put my mind to it when I talk about self empowering. So my first one is, first, you have to figure out what your dream is. So home in to your dream. Find it, whatever that may be. Okay? You want to start the business. You want to start the flower shop. You want to be a doctor, you want to be a gardener, you want to be a triathlete. You want to be a good housewife. It doesn’t matter. Just home in your dream and don’t let it go until it’s accomplished. Make it become your purpose. Make it become your focus. The harder the obstacles to overcome, the greater the success.

Dr. Luissa: You will feel like a superwoman the minute you get it. It’s going to be so hard when you do something like this every day. Just like, God, I can’t believe I’m doing this again. Just keep going at it and you keep going at it. And then it’s just your focus is to get to the other side. But once you get there, it’s like, my God, I made it and it was hard, but, man, just roar. That’s how it’s going to feel like to you. And go ahead, roar, because it’s awesome.

Stacy: Luisa, I know you have a couple more points, but I want to chime in because your point about your book and how if you let it drop, it would be so hard to revive it later, I think has such a good connection here. And I remember this when were working on your book, that one of the things that really sustained you through the hardest periods was that it’s almost like you’re following through on this commitment to yourself by touching your goal every day in some capacity. Some days that might mean a little bit more of a progress. Some days it was simply like visualization into that future that you are working toward but staying really connected to that.

Stacy: But I think one thing that hopefully listeners, viewers will take from that as well is that you had such a clear vision of where you wanted to go even in the hardest times. And I think when you were in the hardest times, it was almost like an obsession to get there right. And then when you kind of got out of that, then it was your anchor and your driving force forward. So I wanted to connect those dots because I think that daily touch, I find that, too with me, when I’m working for big goals, even if I don’t sit down and do the 30 minutes or whatever I really wanted to get to, if I touch it for five minutes and I stay connected to it helps me keep that momentum, which is so important. So just wanted to build on that.

Stacy: And I want to hear what the other two are that you came up with.

Dr. Luissa: No, I mean, that is perfect because. Exactly. I really want our listeners to understand that it’s just not just doing one thing. It’s like you said, even if it is five minutes, it’s that connection. It’s that little steps that counts. I tell my sons all the time, small, consistent steps. The world was not built in an hour or a day. Just think about it. Who won the hare or the turtle? Well, we know who won the race. So that same thing here. And I can’t emphasize that. Whether it’s writing, like you said, whether it’s studying to become a doctor, whether it’s training for a triathlon or for a marathon or for a race of any kind, that is that small, simple steps. If you couldn’t get in a workout for 1 hour, it’s okay. Get in for 15 minutes and speed it. It’s okay.

Dr. Luissa: You filled your cup and talking about cups, this is my second tenet. Find your anchors and your self coping skills. People who go through hell and achieve great things have great anchors and good self coping skills. We all have our moments, but we have to pick ourselves up and you have to figure out what picks you up. And that will balance you, that will refocus you. And you have to figure out what fills my cup. Exercising, meditating, journaling, cooking, fishing, gardening, writing, poems, dancing, singing, whatever. But keep filling that cup every day because you are going to need it. That is what I call take. That’s your me time. You got to give yourself me time.

Dr. Luissa: Because if you don’t refill your resources to stay balanced, you won’t be able to make it just because anxiety, depression, rumination, outside discussions, forces, thoughts, suggestions kind of pick at you and you’re like, start doubting yourself.

Stacy: I want to add on to that, Luisa, because I think that is such a critical point, especially in our american culture. That it really values overwork and depletion. One of the things that you do really well in your life is that you take care of your body and you make sure that you have space in your life. I mean, you’re an amazing athlete and really create space and time for that to be a really central part of what you do and how you show up in the world. On my side, I take a two hour break every single day in the middle of the day, to exercise, to eat good food, reset my body, and come back and essentially work two days, like too many days every day.

Stacy: And the days that I don’t do that, I end up working too long into the noon hour or whatever. Those are the days that I end up feeling depleted and tired and grumpy. And that piece of it, I think, is so important and such a good reminder. I want to hear your third one. I’m so curious what the third point is.

Dr. Luissa: Third one is really what ground us all. Search for that one human that believes in you and keep connecting with him or her no matter what. I call them lighthouses. Each one of them, each one of us has one lighthouse out there. You only need one. You can have two or three, but really, at least you have one. The road would be twice as hard if you are lonely. So do yourself a favor for me. My lighthouse during those seven years was my cat and my mother. My cat, Suzette, was Sammy’s blue point cat. And my mother, who I would talk on the phone with every Sunday morning for 60 seconds. That’s all I needed.

Stacy: Hearing you say this, obviously, I know this story so well and fell in love with both Suzette and your mother. Through the course of working on your. You know, you found what was available to you in those moments when you were effectively cut off from everything else. That could be a buoy for you during those times. And I think, again, we don’t know where people are coming to this episode, this conversation from. They may be in a really happy, joyful existence, not going through anything hard, or they might be in a very different place. And so I hope that really stands out for anybody who’s in one of those hard places that it can be anyone, even a cat, who. Your cat was quite special.

Stacy: In fact, when you were writing, I wrote down the word cat because I wanted to make sure to get to talk about Suzette. Those are really beautiful anchors. Luisa, I wrote down a quote from you that I would like to just to read and get your reflections on because I thought it was so beautiful. You said our world needs more of our united voices. The only limitations to our own future are the ones we impose on ourselves. We are limitless. Semper invicta, always know your book title. Push, then breathe. It’s a triumphant cover. I can hold this up for anybody that’s watching on YouTube, or of course we’ll include a link in the show notes.

Stacy: But this idea of being unconquerable, like this victorious mindset that you carried even through these dark periods, can you expand a little bit on this idea of united voices, of putting our own limitations on ourselves and the real message that we really are limitless?

Dr. Luissa: Yes. So I touched a little bit on it at the beginning of the podcast. But the thing that one must understand that when our life gets turned upside down in a split of a moment, so to speak, first you’re startled. I mean, like, what has just happened, right? And then as a physician, and as a physician who have gone through a lot of rotation, one of them being oncology, Joanne, oncology, we know you probably heard about the seven stages of grief, and I’m not going to go through all of them, but really, when somebody gives you a daunting, like, you got this horrible disease that really cannot be cured, and you got so many months to live, or something of that nature, or you haven’t got into an accident that is life shattering and life changing, we’re like shocked. We’re like, what just happened?

Dr. Luissa: The last minute I was fine, now that my life just turned completely upside down. And then after you come out of that state, like, you’re stumbling, you’re like, now this is just not happening. I must have a dream. You don’t believe that this is just happening to you. And through the process you start kind of thinking, well, this is really indeed is happening. So then you become really mad, like almost you combat it. It’s like, no, this is just whoever is, I don’t believe this. This is not happening. I’m sure there must be a way. I am just making things way out of proportion. And then comes acceptance. When we get to accept things for the way that has been handed to us, that is very dangerous.

Dr. Luissa: And I’ve been there because especially when you come from a different country, from another country, from, you don’t speak the language, you don’t know the system. I mean, unless you go through that, you can’t possibly understand you, Stacy Ken, because you’ve been in Thailand, you lived in countries that you could not understand what these people are talking about. Me. What’s the system like? I got to bring my child to a doctor, and I don’t know where they, like, I got to walk with my child in my arms. I remember your story when you had to take your child in Thailand to the doctor emergently, and you had to walk, holding that in your arms, which is, like, crazy, but this happens. It’s petrifying. All you do at that time is survival. You just kind of brace yourself.

Dr. Luissa: It’s like, okay, I got to survive first because what’s good is going to do to just waste yourself to pieces. You’re not going to be good to anyone, including yourself. But then what I have done, what I did, and I want to impart with you, my listeners, is that at one point, you have a choice to start thinking, am I going to continue to stay and think and take this? Can I have a way to find my way out of it? Is there any way that I can build, crawl myself out of the situation I am in? And at that point, you got to, again, remember the goal. You got to start hanging on to something. You got to find, look inside, deep yourself and say, was there anything out there?

Dr. Luissa: That door gave me that spark to crawl myself out of this situation that life put me in at that time is when you make that decision to start building your life again. And only you will know about it, because in my case, I could not communicate to anybody else. So you have to slowly but surely start working towards your goal, working to survive, working to, in my case, learn a language, lend the system, figure out what I can do to better myself, to be able to move forward in life. Believe in yourself. I had to believe in myself. I had to believe in the power to reach my goal. I had to have the power to say, I have been put down. I am at the bottom of this pit. But let me tell you, I am not conquered yet.

Dr. Luissa: Caesar, the great Caesar said something very wise one time says, a war, it’s easy to be won, but it’s hard to be kept one. So somebody may take over you, someone, somebody, something may keep you down in that hole. But let me tell you, if you have that power, the power of your mind, and you put your mind at it, they can keep you conquered. You are unconquered. That little seed inside you is what keeps you going, that little flame spark. Every time you feel like the world is ending, you just look inside, say, you know what? I got it. I am making my own fate. I am driving this ship. I am limitless. I am unconquerable. And I will show it to the world and to myself.

Stacy: Those are such powerful words. Luisa, you and I have had so many hours of conversations, and I’ve gotten to listen to you share so much inspiring information, stories, your insights. You have a way with words and just really being able to pull together these beautiful quotes and lines that inspire people. Your book, it’s called Push, then breathe. Trauma, triumph and the making of an american doctor. By the time this episode drops, it will have come out yesterday. Anybody who loves a great story, a beautifully written, compelling book and to be inspired forward in their life, I highly recommend Luisa’s book. Luisa, thank you so much for joining me today. I could keep talking to you for hours, tell people where they can learn more about you and follow your work and your mission.

Dr. Luissa: Yes. So I have two websites. One is for my practice. It’s ww dot telemed.com, which is telemedmfm.com. And then that is my telemedicine practice and maternal fetal medicine. The second is doctor, which is Dr. Luisak.com. And S. And that is my platform, my book. And also the landing page for the book release date and how to order the book. I would like to 2 seconds give my parting words to you, my listeners, and to you, Stacy. I consider myself an accomplished woman despite all that has happened to me. I’m a physician. I’m a leader, I’m an innovator. I am the founder and the CEO of two Enterprises. Most of all, I’m a mother. I’m a wife. I’m a daughter, and I’m a trauma survivor.

Dr. Luissa: But I’m also a human who has the freedom and the power to express herself, to express her emotions without fear of repercussions, without rejection. I know that I belong and I know I’m loved and cherished. Thank you for being part of my journey. And thank you, Stacy, for our collaboration that I cherish. And I will already say, you just put that little fire under that spark and made it light up again by nudging me to write this book.

Stacy: Well, I mean the joy and honor with Alma and Luisa. I feel really honored to have gotten to walk this journey with you and continue to be inspired by you. Your energy, your willingness to learn, your ability to show up fully and take up space and be heard and share this vulnerable side of yourself. Again, the book is called push, then breathe. You can get it anywhere. Great books are sold. Luisa, thank you so much for sharing your story with us and for joining me today.

Dr. Luissa: Thank you.

Stacy: And thank you to you, the listener, for tuning in with us. If you’re still listening to this podcast, I know you will love Luisa’s book. We’ll be sure to drop links to everything she mentioned, her telemedicine practice, her website and her book in the show notes. As always, if you’re a loyal listener, I would really appreciate you taking the time to leave a review of the podcast. It is the number one thing that you can do to support me and the show. And thank you to Rita Domingues for her production of this fun podcast and to Catherine Fishman for project support. I’m really grateful for these two who make this show possible, and I will be back with you before you know it.